Many people fear having conversations, they are worried about what they will say and how they will come across.
We’ve all experienced the difference between talking to someone who is absorbed in the conversation and someone whose mind is elsewhere.
As Mel Robbins the motivational speaker succinctly put it, the people we interact with, whether they be a partner, children, friends, family, or the team you lead, need only 3 things.
1. To be seen
2. To be heard
3. To be celebrated
Here are 8 TIPS of how to make that happen.
Cultivate a curious mindset. Pay attention to what this person is saying, ask questions to their answers, show interest in their perspective. Be curious.
Reflect back. Reflecting back what someone has said can help them feel heard and understood. Stop looking for the answer, they probably have the answer, just reflect back what they have said.
Learning mindset. Try to avoid having an expectation of what this person thinks, enter the conversation open minded wanting to learn and understand. Create a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings without judgement.
Ask open ended questions. Encourage that person to share more information that can help you learn more about their perspective and how they see the world.
Avoid interrupting. Nobody likes to be interrupted, it can make us feel like we are not being heard or that person is not interested in what we have to say. Try to let them finish their thoughts before responding.
Show empathy. The empathy to understand and share the feelings of others is a powerful tool in the conversation toolbox. When you show empathy in a conversation, you demonstrate that you care about the other person’s experience and are willing to put yourself in their shoes.
Share your own experiences. This is a very nuanced skill! In the hands of the wrong person, it can feel like we are trying to dominate the conversation, making it about us and turning it into a competition. Carefully done it can build trust and create a sense of connection.
Using their name. One of the sweetest words anyone will hear is their name. Using your conversation partners name, creates an incredible connection with that individual and can really make them feel we are fully listening.
We all want to be heard – what a gift to give anybody.