Ally Gordon Coaching Blog

Who do we need to be for the people in our lives?

In our complex lives, we play various roles for different people;

  • Friend,
  • Parent
  • Partner
  • Lover
  • Colleague.

Each role often requires a unique set of qualities and attitudes.

What is important to understand and adapt in our various relationships?

1.Being present
Thinking about the people in our life and the role we play in them. Whether we are a parent, partner, friend, or professional, being present in each role is crucial.

For instance, when we are with our kids or partner, they need that loving, patient, and attentive version of us, not the professional version.

Taking time to put down distractions like our phone or computer and engaging in that moment is crucial to building those relationships.

2. Adaptability
Recognizing that we may need to adjust our identity to suit different relationships.

For example, in our role as a friend or partner, we will need to be a good listener, offering support and positivity.

Our professional environment may need us to be a leader, more assertive, more tactical whilst also being an active listener and helping others to find their own way.

3. Maintaining positive relationships:
In relationships that may be trickier i.e., co-parenting with an ex-partner or working with colleagues we may not get on with, choosing to have a positive and supportive connection is key, and choosing to go into these interactions with a non-combative mindset can significantly impact the well-being and relationship of all involved.

4. Cultivating necessary skills:
Identify the skills and qualities required for each role.

This might involve active listening, patience, empathy, or leadership, depending on the context.

Cultivating these skills will bring out the best parts of all our relationships.

5. Reflect and adapt:
Regularly reflecting on our relationships, thinking how we want to be in them can significantly improve each of those relationships.

Asking for feedback from those close to us to better understand their needs and expectations.

Taking a moment to understand the roles we play and the identities we can cultivate in all our relationships can play a significant part in building more fulfilling and positive relationships.

Who do you need to be for each of the people in your life?